up
The doctor is dying
THIS IS FOR ALL THE MASTERPOSTS I COME ACROSS AND OTHERTHINGS PURELY FOR REFERENCE.
232,030 notes
24 April
Reblog
— How to unlock a car with a shoelace.

bakerstreetsdoctor:

aliciasw0nderland:

Tie a noose-like knot with your lace.

image

Slide it through the small opening of the car door.

image

Tighten the lace loop and pull the lock up. Then receive free car.

image

TUMBLR: TEACHING EVERYDAY PEOPLE HOW TO BREAK INTO CARS SINCE 2007

reblogging for future references

YES

(Source: peetaah)

[ 155736 ]
— 24 April
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hungrylikethewolfie:

andythanfiction:

nerdsinmypants:


Stages of Deterioration in the Human Body
The Moment Of Death: 1. The heart stops. 2. The skin gets tight and ashen in color. 3. All the muscles relax. 4. The bladder and bowels empty.  5. The body temperature begins to drop 1 1/2 degrees Fahrenheit per hour. After 30 minutes: 6. The skin gets purple and waxy. 7. The lips, fingernails, and toenails fade to a pale color. 8. Blood pools at the bottom of the body. 9. The hands and feet turn blue. 10. The eyes sink into the skull. After 4 hours: 11. Rigor mortis has set in. 12. The purpling of the skin and the pooling of the blood continue. 13. Rigor continues to tighten muscles for another 24 hours or so. After 12 hours: 14. The body is in full rigor mortis. After 24 hours: 15. The body is now the temperature of the surrounding environment. 16. In males, the semen dies. 17. The head and neck are now a greenish-blue color. 18. The greenish-blue color spreads to the rest of the body. 19. There is a pervasive smell of rotting meat. After 3 days: 20. The gas in the body tissues forms large blisters on the skin. 21. The whole body begins to bloat and swell grotesquely. 22. Fluids leak from the mouth, nose, vagina, and rectum. After 3 weeks: 23. The skin, hair, and nails are so loose they can easily be pulled off the corpse. 24. The skin bursts open on many places on the body. 25. Decomposition will continue until the body is nothing but skelital remains, a process that can take a month or so in hot climates, and two months or more in cold climates.

This is actually pretty interesting.

Important for writers…helps avoid either walking in and knowing someone died moments ago “from the smell” (unless that smell is piss and shit), or finding someone dead for a week that “looks like they’re sleeping.”

Reblogging for reference.

hungrylikethewolfie:

andythanfiction:

nerdsinmypants:

Stages of Deterioration in the Human Body


The Moment Of Death:
1. The heart stops.
2. The skin gets tight and ashen in color.
3. All the muscles relax.
4. The bladder and bowels empty. 
5. The body temperature begins to drop 1 1/2 degrees Fahrenheit per hour.

After 30 minutes:
6. The skin gets purple and waxy.
7. The lips, fingernails, and toenails fade to a pale color.
8. Blood pools at the bottom of the body.
9. The hands and feet turn blue.
10. The eyes sink into the skull.

After 4 hours:
11. Rigor mortis has set in.
12. The purpling of the skin and the pooling of the blood continue.
13. Rigor continues to tighten muscles for another 24 hours or so.

After 12 hours:
14. The body is in full rigor mortis.

After 24 hours:
15. The body is now the temperature of the surrounding environment.
16. In males, the semen dies.
17. The head and neck are now a greenish-blue color.
18. The greenish-blue color spreads to the rest of the body.
19. There is a pervasive smell of rotting meat.

After 3 days:
20. The gas in the body tissues forms large blisters on the skin.
21. The whole body begins to bloat and swell grotesquely.
22. Fluids leak from the mouth, nose, vagina, and rectum.

After 3 weeks:
23. The skin, hair, and nails are so loose they can easily be pulled off the corpse.
24. The skin bursts open on many places on the body.
25. Decomposition will continue until the body is nothing but skelital remains, a process that can take a month or so in hot climates, and two months or more in cold climates.

This is actually pretty interesting.

Important for writers…helps avoid either walking in and knowing someone died moments ago “from the smell” (unless that smell is piss and shit), or finding someone dead for a week that “looks like they’re sleeping.”

Reblogging for reference.

[ 11303 ]
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deepredroom:

image

image

How to draw heads. Good advice. I used to draw the head as one shape, put splitting it up into two, the cranium and the jaw, makes getting the shape right much easier.

[ 31454 ]
— 24 April
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vardaesque:

fuckingrecipes:

LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN DRINK, SO BEAUTIFUL. IT’S CALLED ‘ITALIAN SODA’ 
BECAUSE ITALIANS KNOW HOW TO DO FUCKING EVERYTHING PERFECTLY. JESUS FUCK, LOOK AT THAT SHIT. PASTA AND PAINTINGS AND NOW THEY’VE MADE SODA INTO A FACE-SMASHING ART!HOW THE HELL DO YOU MAKE SOMETHING THIS FLAWLESS?WELL SAUNTER INTO THE KITCHEN, MY LOVELY LITTLE SHITS, BECAUSE IT’S TIME TO GET COOKING!
INGREDIENTS YOU NEED INCLUDE SOME WATER, SUGAR, HALF-AND-HALF CREAM AND CLUB SODA,THEN BLUEBERRIES OR STRAWBERRIES. FIRST, YOU’LL MAKE SOME FUCKING FRUIT SYRUP. IF YOU FEEL LIKE CLIMBING MOUNT EVEREST IN YOUR UNDERWEAR, BLUEBERRIES IS PROBABLY BEST FOR YOU, AND YOU’LL NEED 3 CUPS OF THOSE BEAUTIFUL DARLINGS. IF YOU WANT TO WRESTLE SOME GREAT WHITE SHARKS WITH A DEER HAUNCH STRAPPED TO YOUR ASS, THEN STRAWBERRIES SOUNDS LIKE THE BETTER FLAVOR FOR YOUR FLAWLESS MOUTH. YOU’LL NEED 4 CUPS OF CHOPPED STRAWBERRIES.  PICK YOUR FRUIT AND STICK WITH IT! SHOVE 2 CUPS OF WATER INTO A POT, WITH 2 CUPS OF SUGAR! KEEP THAT SHIT ON ‘HIGH’ TEMPERATURE AND STIR UNTIL IT JUST LOOKS LIKE THICK WATER. 
PREPARE YOUR BODY, BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS MAGNIFICENT. JUMP OUT OF AN AIRPLANE AND TOSS THE 4 CUPS OF STRAWBERRIES OUT OF THE ATMOSPHERE AND INTO YOUR POT. ALTERNATELY, IF YOU’RE FEELING LIKE A LAZY SHIT, YOU CAN SCOOP THE FRUIT UP WITH YOUR HANDS AND DUMP THEM INTO THE POT LIKE A FUCKING WUSS. 
LET IT BOIL FOR 10 MINUTES, WHILE YOU’RE WAITING, YOU CAN GO SWALLOW A FUCKING TIME VORTEX TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE, BUT GET BACK IN TIME TO TAKE THAT SHIT OFF THE HEAT. PUT A BOWL UNDER YOUR STRAINER BEFORE YOU SHOVE YOUR MIXTURE INTO IT, BECAUSE YOU’RE SAVING THE SYRUP, AND THE FRUIT ALREADY DID ITS JOB. SHOVE THIS DELICIOUS SYRUP SHIT INTO A CUP SO IT’LL BE EASIER TO HANDLE. I MAKE DOUBLE BATCHES AND KEEP THE EXTRA STUFF IN A BOTTLE MADE FROM CRYSTALLIZED TIME LORD TEARS AND CHILDREN’S LAUGHTER. SHOVE YOUR SYRUP IN THE FREEZER FOR AN HOUR, BECAUSE IT NEEDS TO COOL THE FUCK DOWN!NOW GET OUT YOUR JESUS FUCK THIS IS SO FANCY TYPE OF GLASSES, HELL, MAYBE YOU FEEL LIKE USING YOUR ANCIENT CRYSTAL CHAMPAGNE FLUTES, WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I DON’T GIVE A FUCKFILL THOSE BEAUTIFUL BASTARDS WITH ICE. FILL ¼ OF THE CUP WITH YOUR SYRUP. THEN GET IT UP TO THE ¾ POINT WITH CLUB SODA. AND TOP IT OFF WITH SOME HALF-AND-HALF. BEAUTIFUL BOUNCING TITTIES THAT LOOKS WONDERFUL.
 STIR THAT SHIT UP AND ENJOY YOUR FUCKING ITALIAN SODA!

new favorite blog

vardaesque:

fuckingrecipes:


LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN DRINK, SO BEAUTIFUL.
IT’S CALLED ‘ITALIAN SODA


BECAUSE ITALIANS KNOW HOW TO DO FUCKING EVERYTHING PERFECTLY. JESUS FUCK, LOOK AT THAT SHIT. PASTA AND PAINTINGS AND NOW THEY’VE MADE SODA INTO A FACE-SMASHING ART!

HOW THE HELL DO YOU MAKE SOMETHING THIS FLAWLESS?
WELL SAUNTER INTO THE KITCHEN, MY LOVELY LITTLE SHITS, BECAUSE IT’S TIME TO GET COOKING!


INGREDIENTS YOU NEED INCLUDE SOME WATER, SUGAR, HALF-AND-HALF CREAM AND CLUB SODA,THEN BLUEBERRIES OR STRAWBERRIES.

FIRST, YOU’LL MAKE SOME FUCKING FRUIT SYRUP. IF YOU FEEL LIKE CLIMBING MOUNT EVEREST IN YOUR UNDERWEAR, BLUEBERRIES IS PROBABLY BEST FOR YOU, AND YOU’LL NEED 3 CUPS OF THOSE BEAUTIFUL DARLINGS.

IF YOU WANT TO WRESTLE SOME GREAT WHITE SHARKS WITH A DEER HAUNCH STRAPPED TO YOUR ASS, THEN STRAWBERRIES SOUNDS LIKE THE BETTER FLAVOR FOR YOUR FLAWLESS MOUTH. YOU’LL NEED 4 CUPS OF CHOPPED STRAWBERRIES. image

PICK YOUR FRUIT AND STICK WITH IT!

SHOVE 2 CUPS OF WATER INTO A POT, WITH 2 CUPS OF SUGAR! KEEP THAT SHIT ON ‘HIGH’ TEMPERATURE AND STIR UNTIL IT JUST LOOKS LIKE THICK WATER.


PREPARE YOUR BODY, BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS MAGNIFICENT.
JUMP OUT OF AN AIRPLANE AND TOSS THE 4 CUPS OF STRAWBERRIES OUT OF THE ATMOSPHERE AND INTO YOUR POT.

ALTERNATELY, IF YOU’RE FEELING LIKE A LAZY SHIT, YOU CAN SCOOP THE FRUIT UP WITH YOUR HANDS AND DUMP THEM INTO THE POT LIKE A FUCKING WUSS.


LET IT BOIL FOR 10 MINUTES, WHILE YOU’RE WAITING, YOU CAN GO SWALLOW A FUCKING TIME VORTEX TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE, BUT GET BACK IN TIME TO TAKE THAT SHIT OFF THE HEAT.
PUT A BOWL UNDER YOUR STRAINER BEFORE YOU SHOVE YOUR MIXTURE INTO IT, BECAUSE YOU’RE SAVING THE SYRUP, AND THE FRUIT ALREADY DID ITS JOB.

SHOVE THIS DELICIOUS SYRUP SHIT INTO A CUP SO IT’LL BE EASIER TO HANDLE. I MAKE DOUBLE BATCHES AND KEEP THE EXTRA STUFF IN A BOTTLE MADE FROM CRYSTALLIZED TIME LORD TEARS AND CHILDREN’S LAUGHTER. image


SHOVE YOUR SYRUP IN THE FREEZER FOR AN HOUR, BECAUSE IT NEEDS TO COOL THE FUCK DOWN!

NOW GET OUT YOUR JESUS FUCK THIS IS SO FANCY TYPE OF GLASSES, HELL, MAYBE YOU FEEL LIKE USING YOUR ANCIENT CRYSTAL CHAMPAGNE FLUTES, WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK

FILL THOSE BEAUTIFUL BASTARDS WITH ICE.
FILL ¼ OF THE CUP WITH YOUR SYRUP.
THEN GET IT UP TO THE ¾ POINT WITH CLUB SODA.
AND TOP IT OFF WITH SOME HALF-AND-HALF. image

BEAUTIFUL BOUNCING TITTIES THAT LOOKS WONDERFUL.


STIR THAT SHIT UP AND ENJOY YOUR FUCKING ITALIAN SODA!

new favorite blog

[ 6 ]
— 24 April
► Reblog
List of Legendary Creatures by Type

a-cumberbatch-of-cookies:

TOO MANY CREATURES NOT ENOUGH CHARACTERS FOR THEM ALL.

[ 19219 ]
— 24 April
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tumblr theme generator

lavisant:

jenesaispourquoi:

lemonstrider:

by

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU

GEEZ THAT’S HANDY

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fiveoclockteatime:

7 Random Uses for Used Tea Bags

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saucefactory:

littlehawkeye:

the-altar:

tristyntothesea:

nogodsonlyman:

shesaysnoworries:

This is sexually attractive. Pull this off and get all the wimminz.

I love the Eldredge knot.

Holy hell.

People will notice.

i was in the band hall at my school and my sisters boyfriend and his friend spent an hour trying to do this, and when they did they walked around the school showing everyone.

BONDAGE

JUST THINK OF HOW GOOD AT ROPE-BONDAGE ANYONE WHO PULLS THIS OFF WOULD BE

THAT IS LARGELY WHY IT WOULD WIN POINTS WITH ME

LOL

(Source: dopeturtlem)

[ 5558 ]
— 24 April
► Reblog

turnonred:

dangerous-ladies:

So you wanna wear a cape?

(God, this new uploading system is balls. It took me forever to arrange them in the right order, because according to Tumblr, despite the pictures being both numbered and uploaded in order, they should just go where-ever they please.)

In this tutorial you’ll be learning to make a basic single-layer cape that attaches from the collarbones. It is patterned as a circle so that it drapes and flows, giving it a lot of body and “flow” when you walk. It has a hand-rolled hem on all sides to give it a clean, finished look without any raw edges.

It works for characters with “trimless” single-coloured capes, such as Superman, Mon-El, or Thor. I will be doing tutorials for trimmed capes or double-layered capes (or capes that have different coloured layers) at a later date, as well as a proper tutorial on collared capes.

What you will need:

  • Basic sewing equipment (pins, tape measure, scissors, sewing machine)
  • Sufficient fabric; a half-circle cape will take roughly 120”x60”, but ideally you just need a rectangle that is double in length as it is in width. You also want this fabric to be light-medium weight and made of polyester so that it is easier to care for and IRONS WELL. A tiny bit of stretch is alright, but be aware that the more stretch there is, the more your cape will desire to be as close to the ground as possible… and who likes a droopy, sad cape?
  • An iron and ironing board.

To make things easier, you may also want:

  • A flexible ruler makes life easier to do the curve of the neckline.
  • A friend to help play “compass” with you.
  • If you have the physical constitution of wet paper towel (as I do), you may want to pop an Advil, because you’re going to hemming for fucking hours.

Ready? Here we go.

Spread your fabric out on the nice, clean floor. Fold it in half down the middle so that you have a square. Then fold it diagonally, so that you have a “slice”; the third and fourth pictures demonstrate this, but you basically want to have something that will open up to be one piece. This is going to save you a lot of time pinning the bottom curve of your cape.

Once you have your fabric laid out nicely and the edges lined up beautifully, take your measuring tape and decide how long you need this cape to be. Josh here is 5’7” or so, and we cut the cape to 57.5”, this way the finished cape will land just around his ankles from the back of his neck.

Remember compasses? Not the kind you use to save your lost ass from the wilderness and find “North”, the kind you used in sixth grade math class like twice and thought was really cool but had no practical use for.  Well, now you get to do something Similar. Line up your measuring tape with that top “point” of your fabric, so it sits nicely in the middle. Have your friend put their finger on it, with enough pressure to keep it from sliding but still leave it room to “swing”. You’re going to use this to draw a large curve across the fabric, using whatever length suits you — if you want to cut a 58” long cape, then use the 58” mark on the measuring tape to pin across. You can see us doing this in picture six. 

Finish pinning the whole way across and then cut just below the pins. When you open it up, you have a big ass cape! (Picture seven.) But it doesn’t have a neck curve yet, and you’ll want to add that so it hangs around your neck nicely. Fold it up again in half (don’t worry about the pizza slice this time) and measure your neck to see how wide you want this neckline to be. We picked 20”, which means we needed to cut an arc that spanned 10”. Now, I’m impatient with math, so I just bent my flexible ruler into a curve and used my measuring tape to make sure it was equal distance away from the corner, but if you’re better at math than I am, you can figure out how many inches you need to “swing” just like you did to cut the bottom of the cape. (A 10” half-circle needs about a 6” swing, for the record.) When you’re done that, cut.

And now you have a cape!

But it’s not finished yet.

If you’re fancy, you may have something called a “rolled hem foot” that lets you do stuff like this easily, but a) I find those things more trouble than they’re worth and b) what am I, a wizard? I’m not fucking around with a foot when I can do it manually. You might be a wizard, though, so if you want to explore this magical sewing foot, you can read someone else’s tutorial here.

But if you’re cool and want to stick with me and learn how to do it manually, that’s cool, too.

Now, if you just folded over the edges once and sewed it down and called it a day, your cape might still be okay. But you don’t want fraying –– that stuff is ugly, and you’ll appreciate the extra work of doing a rolled hem, which is just a fancy way to say “fold that shit over twice.”

Picture 9 shows this pretty clearly, I think –– fold over the edge you want to hem once, iron it, and then fold it over again, so that the ugly raw edge is trapped inside. Pin it all. You’re going to want to pin it very evenly and close together, and TAKE YOUR TIME. If you rush it, you’re going to end up with an ugly, uneven hem, and it’ll bubble up in weird places because you’re hemming a big curve, here. This can be very tedious and take a long time, especially if your cape is huge. (This is why it is usually faster to just make a double-layered cape. UGH, HEMMING.) But the results are worth it; a single-layered cape with beautiful hems is gorgeous and usually less bulky than a double-layered one, so they fly better.

Once you have everything pinned (taking care to pin down the corners neatly, too) you can sew it all. Take your time and make sure the fabric is tight/flat when you sew over it, lest you end up with weird bubbles and misplaced hems. Stay close to the edge of the hem, so that you don’t end up with overhang.

Speed will only sabotage you.

Once you’re done sewing it all down, take out any remaining pins and give the whole thing a good ironing. This should smooth out any remaining warps in your fabric, as you’re using a polyester and they can be warped back into line a little with some heat. 

And then enjoy your cape. You earned it. 

Go race some airplanes.

To anyone that follows me for my Journey cosplay tutorial, here’s an excellent tutorial for capes that would also work perfect for mine too!

[ 101867 ]
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► Reblog
duck pies in the park: toddbeganrunningand: Ultimate Writing Resource List volari:...

toddbeganrunningand:

Ultimate Writing Resource List

volari:

the-fandoms-are-cool:

a massively extended version of ruthlesscalculus’ post

General Tips

Character Development

Female Characters

Male Characters

Tips for Specific Characters

Dialogue

Point of View

Plot, Conflict, Structure and Outline

Setting & Worldbuilding

Creativity Boosters* denotes prompts

Revision & Grammar

Tools & Software

Specific Help

I made a very small noise to express a very large amount of happiness.

For my writers.

[ 34545 ]
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buttsfandom:

 
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methelorac:

theinturnet:

Diabetes here I come!

What the

(Source: theinturnetexplorer)

[ 172507 ]
— 24 April
► Reblog

hobbitdragon:

spartadog:

self-cannibalism:

dasupastar:

Graffiti Gardening…kinda dope.

ASTRONAUT. I’M CALLING YOU OUT. WE ARE FUCKING DOING THIS!

I love moss graffiti. Whoever thought of it was a genius.

WHAT

IS THIS EVEN REAL